Chronicle Timeline Section

November 2003

The Shadow Church held a large event this month, inviting the average citizen to bring the kids along for a hay-ride and petting zoo, and then stay on to hear the preaching of the Gospel of the Shadow. Doesn’t the government keep a check on wacko cults anymore? Anyway, with all the recent shadow-related problems in the past few months, how could the Kindred of Atlanta stay away? They couldn’t!

Thorn, the Gangrel Primogen, found the idea of a petting zoo to be cruel and sadistic mistreatment of the innocent little animals. So, he called them all to him, freaking out every child and parent within sight I might add, and jumped into the back of a van on a course to free the children of nature… This course lasted at least first three blocks, and then they seemed like little more than a good source of blood. I guess for the Gangrel, a life drained into a thermos is a good path to freedom; but life in a cage, all you can eat, regular bouts of petting and love, and a monthly thermometer up the bum… Well, man that is just mean!

As for the religious ceremony itself, two teams were sent out with the intention of kidnapping a Shadow Church official and bringing her/him back for a nice little chat *cough**torture**cough* with David Kendrick, our esteemed Prince. The first group went in very quietly and remained undetected as they attained one Class-A-Shadowgoon. The second group however, couldn’t keep their heads down with the same level of subtlety. They were quickly identified for what they were, and low and behold, a cloud of bullets sprayed their way.

Despite the intention of Shadow-infected priests and security, who have head-sets that work I might add, all Kindred made it out without being dropped into torpor. Heimish, our Scourge, even managed to turn into mist behind a closed door, thereby avoiding a Masquerade breach for the first time in months, a feat that he was more than happy to brag about for the rest of the night. Not only did everyone make it out, but also, the church official was in tow and unharmed enough to answer questions.

The dedication of the Divine Shadow’s followers is no longer a question in my mind. After the group returned with the man, David Kendrick questioned him about all of the Kindred that had been infected with shadow since the problem was first identified. He also wanted to know why, with such a large human population, the Shadow Church had to go and pick a fight with the Kindred of Atlanta. The half-hearted answers and unwillingness to consider a peace between Kindred and Shadow did not sit well with our Prince. The official was thrown through a Shadow Ward that had been set up in a corner near the auditorium. The lacerations and profuse bleeding looked painful, but the man merely turned and told Kendrick that although our Prince could kill him, the Kindred would never be able to stop His Divine Shadow. The man then willingly walked back across the Ward and died a most horrific death. Well, okay, so there dedicated, but do you think they’d cut back on the melodrama if we asked them real nicely?

And what’s up with ‘His Divine Shadow?’ Just once, can’t we get a monotheistic deity that’s a woman, not a man? What’s wrong with ‘Her Noble Huntress,’ or ‘She That Walks With The Heavens,’ or even ‘Her Exquisite Dishwasherness?’ Hehe, get in the kitchen and make me some goddess, NOW!

Malkavians and Gangrel at it again? After the trip to the Shadow Church, Kurt Meyer of clan Malkavian was seen giving Thorn, the Gangrel Primogen, a good tongue lashing. It seems that things didn’t go as smoothly at the kidnapping as Meyer would have liked, and he deemed Thorn wholly responsible for the trouble. Heck, I’m just amazed that nobody lost their unlives, and the Scourge didn’t breach the Masquerade. Come on; let’s see the kooks and the outlanders kiss and make up.

A Malkavian Prank-A-Thon has been scheduled for December through March. A series of Malkavian games has been called and all Kindred have been invited to participate. The better the pranks are, the better the prizes awarded. The declaration of winnings will not be public however, which is probably better for all involved due to the trouble that some are likely to cause. Hey, wait a minute, Malkavian Pranks, annoying Shadow Church. If anything can rid the city of Atlanta of an annoying presence, surely it is all the insanity and chaos that is Clan Malkavian. Good luck to all contestants, but please, don’t prank me, your humble record keeper.


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